Wednesday 9 September 2009

Z is alone

I peer disconsolately into the mirror. I'm looking tired, which at my time of life equates with old. I try a smile. The Frankie Howerd jowls turn into thick creases round my eyes, which remain flat and unamused. I reflect that I will never look at my face without make-up on again, ever.

I'm not feeling entirely at my best. On Saturday, I got a bit of carrot stuck in my throat, which is the result of eating a lot of raw food and never properly chewing. The bit of carrot is still there. It's not moved up or down, and for the last couple of days has given me a sore throat and, since last night, a headache. This seems an unlikely side-effect, but I rarely have a headache and I went to bed with one, woke with it in the night, hadn't shed it by this morning and it all seems connected with the general throat-hurtiness.

However, today's post cheered me somewhat, as it contained several birthday cards and a present, and a postcard/birthday card from Dave. It also brought an appointment at the hospital in Norwich for next week, with a requirement for me to phone to confirm or change it. Ominously, they want my credit card number at the same time so that I won't have to trouble to pay the bill before I leave. Although the consultant will send me a bill separately. Lovely. At least I have a name now, so I can look him up before I go.

I'm all alone for the day, which is quite unusual. Even if I don't see Dilly and the children, they're usually there and so is the Sage, bustling in and out - he's always busy. But he left early this morning for London, and Dilly came in happily a couple of hours ago, saying that she'd decided to take the children back to the coast for the rest of the week, because the weather's so lovely. Her parents went to visit them and they stayed on in the tent, so it's still up and this (for Dilly is immensely polite) will save them having to take it down. Pugsley will have nursery school tomorrow and so she's planning to come back early, spend most of the day here, then go back again. Additionally, Squiffany is going to be visited at home by her teacher tomorrow afternoon, so they do need to be here. And, as Dilly said charmingly, they want to see me on my birthday.

Feeling stale, flat and unprofitable as I am, I'm most inclined to curl up on the sofa all day with an array of books and a big bowl of fruit, but the sun is shining and I mustn't succumb to this sort of self-indulgence. At least, not before lunch.


badgerdaddy said...

Birthday, you say? Super. x

Anonymous said...

Aw, curling up on a sofa with books and fruit seems like a lovely way to spend your birthday's eve.

Never want to look at yourself without makeup? Pshaw!

I think you need some champagne punch -- and maybe some petits fours -- with those books and the sofa.

Z said...

I'd better start lighting those candles, Badge, it will take until tomorrow.

Well, it's such a pleasure isn't it? It's just occurred to me that the Sage will be home by 4.30 so if I want to do any serious lounging I'd better get on with it soon.

martina said...

Frankie Howard jowls? No, not you Z! You are far too young to have them.
Have a wonderful, fabulous and joy filled birthday. Hope you get lots of attention, love and presents from your friends and family

Z said...

Well, I'm jolly glad someone said that!

And yes, so do I...I'm very rewarding to make a fuss of. My little face beams with happiness.

Zig said...

books and fruit? FRUIT? No no no. Chocolate (you could make it fruit and nut if you must) and something with bubbles and alcohol. Can I join you?!

Marion said...

Oh dear. Sounds like birthday depression. I know it well.

A friend of mine felt that a piece of apple stuck in her throat. Next few days brought headache and fever. Now she says she has flu and throat was probably starting to be irratated when apple grazed it making it feel stuck. Hope this isn't what happens in your case.

Z said...

I did have a glass of wine with lunch and then settled down later on the sofa with - sorry - books and fruit. I don't happen to have any chocolate in the house at present because, with incredible generosity, I gave away my last bar.

I only like the 'up' years of the decade, it feels like a downward slope now. I'l feel better in 4 years.
It has occurred to me to wonder if it's a precursor to something, but I feel fine in myself (the headache went) and I'm not feverish or coldy. Besides, I'm really busy next week and being ill would be very inconvenient, so I think I'll assume I'm all right. Once, I coughed out a feather that I'd inhaled several days earlier. Through my nose. Yes, I know.

sablonneuse said...

Glad to hear from your last comment that you are feeling better. It wouldn't do to be poorly on your birthday, would it?
Hope you have a wonderful day with loads of pressies and cards and, of course, lots of TLC from your nearest and dearest.
Heureux Anniversaire!

luckyzmom said...

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Z! Happy Birthday to you!!!

Rog said...

Happy Birthday Z !!!!!!!!

Titter ye not!

Rog said...

Happy Birthday Z !!!!!!!!

Titter ye not!

Z said...

Don't mock the afflicted, Rog.

Thanks, everyone.

Blue Witch said...

Is the feeling of something stuck in one's throat like the feeling of something being in one's eye if one's inadvertently scratched the cornea? (ie it feels like the foreign body is still there but it isn't actually?).

I'm also not quite understanding why you haven't chosen to see a specialist of your (researched) choice if you are paying to see one? I've never been referred to anyone I haven't chosen (usually with another medic's advice), but, even so....

Z said...

Well, I didn't feel that I'd scratched anything at the time, just that something had lodged. It was uncomfortable and made me want to cough, but it was too far down to trigger a coughing reflex. It's a lot better today, so I might have swallowed the carrot (I ate some dry bread yesterday to try to take it down, as liquids and yoghurt weren't helping) and the slight soreness now is the after-effect.

I may want to use this specialist if I'm happy with him; mainly at this point I'd like to find out what state my hip is in and discuss options. I won't hesitate to go elsewhere if i want to, but if this chap instils me with confidence, I will stick with him. Norwich is an excellent place for hip ops and I can't believe they would have someone who isn't up to standard, but from what I've read, resurfacing is more of a specialism and needs a great deal of experience. It may seem a bit baby-steppish, but I'm anxious enough even so.

Blue Witch said...

Yes, a Nice Lady who retired and moved to Norfolk a couple of years ago said she was going there because the medical services were much better at looking after older people because they had more practice!

The thing is, at least once you've seen a specialist you'll know more, and therefore be better equipped to make logical choices. You don't have to do anything as a result of having gone, after all.

Blue Witch said...

And, erm, may I make a suggestion? (in case you haven't already thought of it)

In my experience (both as patient and professional liaising with doctors) consultants (particularly those seen privately) are generally impressed by someone who writes/types out a couple of sides of A4 (maximum) summary of their relevant medical history/history of condition to give them at the start of an appointment.

It's amazing how much more respect and information one gets out of them as a result. For some reason they are much better at reading lots of info than at listening to it, plus they can then judge your standard of education/informedness much better.

And, if you want a copy of the report that gets sent back to your GP for your own perusal/records, then ask for it. You're paying after all! I've never yet been refused. I know that some NHS consultants now send patients direct copies as standard practice, but by no means all.

Hope the appointment goes well.

Z said...

Exactly, that's just how I feel about it.

And funnily enough, your suggestion is similar to something Weeza said yesterday. I told her that I'd printed off a list of questions to ask from the website of people who've had this op, but that I would get ideas what to ask from it rather than take it (it's more queries about the abilities of the surgeon than about the operation generally) - and she agreed that this would make his hackles rise before we started - but also said that she wrote down relevant information and wishes before going to the hospital to discuss arrangements for Zerlina's birth, and they were pleased and impressed that she'd done sensible research and thought it through.

And yes to your second suggestion too - thanks for your thoughtfulness.