Thursday, 23 February 2012

Kenny

I can't write of anything else tonight, because our dear friend Kenny died this evening.  I went to see him this lunchtime and I knew it couldn't be long.  I went back at 4, promised his wife and son that I wouldn't leave him alone and they went home - it was an immense strain on Muriel to see him so near the end.

Russell (blog names just aren't appropriate tonight) came along at 6 and, in his turn, persuaded me to leave.  Kenny was awake and aware all day, but couldn't speak and could only gesture occasionally.  I'm sure he could hear me, he knew when someone else came in the room, his expression changed and his eyes turned to the door.  Russell phoned at 6.30 to say that he had died in his arms.  We both went to tell Muriel and I took her and her son back to the hospital, where her daughter and son-in-law were waiting.  We all said goodbye to Kenny, and I left Muriel with her family.

I appreciate the time I spent with my dear good friend and I appreciate the Sage's (well okay, a blog name can come into its own) kindness in taking on himself the final burden.  I was reluctant to leave in one way, but all has been done with respect and love.

Death is never easy, we've all been bereaved in one way or another, most of you will understand and sympathise with Muriel and her family.  Kenny was 92 and one cannot describe a long and happy life followed by a short illness as a great tragedy, except to those who are closest to him.  All the same, it's been hard.  Not hard like those who suffer right now in Syria, for example, but one person's tragedy cannot be compared to that of another and each has to be borne as a fresh one.

Kenny retired at 65 and came immediately to help the Sage's mother as a gardener and handyman.  When she died, he stayed on to caretake, and stayed with us for the next twenty years.  In the end, he travelled the few hundred yards between his house and ours on his motorised wheelchair.  After he finally stopped working at the age of 88, he still popped back once a week or so to see Dilly and the babies.  He has been a dear and loyal friend, one of those people to whom you could turn at any time, and we will miss him terribly.

25 comments:

lx said...

Sincere condolences.

Scarlet Blue said...

Thoughts are with you, Z.
Sx

Z said...

Thanks, loves. Sorry to be a misery x

Vicus Scurra said...

Love and peace.

Z said...

All that matters, darling. Thanks.

Macy said...

Condolences Z - though it sounds like he had a good death.
And that matters a lot.

Tim said...

So sorry, sad of course, as always. But Kenny sounds like a good man who has had a good life and has to be celebrated.

63mago said...

May he rest in peace.
My condolences to Kenny's family and his wife.

It's never easy. I think you found all the right words.

Mein besonderes Mitgefühl gilt Russell - dieser Kelch ist bisher an mir vorüber gegangen.

(I'm sorry to say this in German, but I feel that I can not express it "correctly" in English, I'd miss the tone.)

Alienne said...

I am so sorry. I know that even when it is expected a death is still a shock. He had a good and long life and will have left many happy memories behind but my condolences go to his widow and family.

savannah said...

You have my heart, dear friend. May he rest in peace. Our condolences to his family.
xoxo/s

martina said...

How fortunate you were to have such a kind and wonderful friend in your lives. My condolences on your loss and sympathies to Kenny's family.

Rog said...

The Sage is a very good man - you'd always want him on your team

Mike and Ann said...

Well done, both of you.

Blue Witch said...

Love to you all - thinking of you.

allotmentqueen said...

So sorry. I wish you strength for the funeral.

Z said...

Thanks again, everyone. You're so kind, such good friends.

lom said...

Sending love to all

Liz said...

I'm sure that everyone who knew and loved him will miss him but I hope that you can all remember him with happiness.

john.g. said...

Condolences, Zed! xxx

Marion said...

Such a sad time for you all. My condolences also.

luckyzmom said...

I too am so sorry for your loss.

mig said...

I'm so sorry to hear you've lost your friend, but moved by the care and kindness you all showed to make sure he wasn't alone.

wendz said...

I am so sorry Z - not knowing Kenny personally doesn't make his death insignificant for me - because he was so special to you and you wrote so movingly about him.

Roses said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Kenny.

And yes, you're absolutely right, it is still a tragedy because you love him and you'll miss him dreadfully.

Z said...

His deterioration in such a short time will never leave my memory, I'm afraid. I called on Muriel today, she's coping well with her family's help.