Sunday, 30 January 2011

Z the lightweight

Last night, three of us polished off three bottles of wine.  I matched the other two glass for glass for a while, but had to admit defeat after the first glass of the third bottle.

This morning, I decided not to go to the pub, but give my liver a chance to recover a bit, and cycled in for the papers instead.  I've spent most of the day reading, actually, books and newspapers.  All that busyness and sociability had taken its toll and I'd reached my limit.  I was quite happy to be on my own.

At about three o'clock the Sage mentioned that he'd invited a friend round.  So I said, quite pleasantly, that I'd make them some tea and retire to the kitchen to read. The Sage was awfully disappointed and I think he thinks I wasn't quite polite - he said I could sit reading while they were talking.  I felt that would be really offhand, and in the event I did greet the friend and explain cheerfully that I'd leave them to it.  Mike didn't mind a bit, but the Sage was a bit twitchy.

The thing is, though, that he doesn't do anything with me if he doesn't want to.  For example, the quiz last night - he doesn't really enjoy them and I do, so he was quite happy to back out, and I go with Al and Dilly, and another friend of theirs.  But he is a bit disappointed if I do the same thing although, conversely, he doesn't necessarily feel the need to include me if it's something he wants to do on his own.

He's used to my independence and occasional solitude, but also to me backing him up and he doesn't expect me to want to be backed up.  This is fair enough, and mostly suits us both.  For instance, this morning he vanished for three hours, visiting a friend and it certainly didn't occur to him to ask me if I'd like to go.  But this afternoon's visit was in respect of a couple of things that I've heard about over and over, and I just didn't want to have to be falsely interested yet again.  But to say that, he'd be hurt that I'm not interested any more (I am in a sense, I just don't want to talk about it any more).

I should say, we haven't fallen out and we're not going to.  He's just brought me coffee and all is cosy and friendly in the Zage household.  And Dilly and Al asked us in for dinner, and we've just got back.

10 comments:

Madame DeFarge said...

I have the same situation with M. DeFarge, except I suspect that I am more like the Sage. I think I am almost forgiven for not going to his works Christmas do. Almost, but not quite. You are luckier than me...

Marion said...

Really, Z,
I quite admire your attitude.
Glenda

lom said...

hehehe sounds like our house

Dave said...

I have a visitor today. Do you think he will mind if I leave him in the living-room, and go and read a book in the kitchen?

Christopher said...

Sounds quite familiar, all this...but how did you get on in the quiz?

Z said...

No one in this family bears grudges and we never sulk. It's The Rule (also, I've a poor memory and a short attention span).

Dave, you invited your visitor. The Sage invited his.

Cast your mind back, if you will, to your married days. If your wife invited a girl friend in for a cosy chat, did you stay and join in, or did you retire to your study, even if it was your day off and you didn't have any work that had to be done - in short, to read?

We were joint leaders until the last two rounds, Chris, and then did lamentably in the music round and finished in the middle bunch.

Scarlet Blue said...

Ignore Dave.
You have my understanding Z.
Sx

Z said...

Thank you, Scarlet. Dave is just teasing. The only remarkable thing is that he is permitting someone to visit him.

Scarlet Blue said...

True!!
Sx

luckyzmom said...

I too can relate.