I'm finally at the stage of acknowledging that it's too much. I've been gentle with myself for years, which helps at the time, but not in the long run, because difficult but necessary things get pushed back. They do get done in the end, but I've always assumed I have time, which isn't a sensible assumption.
It's as much on Wink's behalf as my own. Driving her to hospital today, I nearly missed coming off the main road, but remembered in time not to inconvenience anyone else, then took the wrong turning at the next roundabout, which was just into a service road so I did a rapid turn and no one but Wink and me knew. Wink is more in touch with her feelings than I am (this is polite for emotional). I clamp down. In my experience over half my lifetime, letting go just means it's harder to come back to an even keel. Facilis descensus averno, as Virgil put it in a different context - he meant, if you go wrong then it's a bugger to come back to the straight and narrow. I just mean, keep emotionally stable. If you let the pressure in and go below that stability, it's doubly hard to catch up again. You may disagree and you're welcome to.
Anyway, it's been a good day overall, though not an easy one. I finally typed up the last two lots, which are truly beautiful. If I hadn't overspent so violently last year, I'd be bidding myself. I have taken photos of them, but they aren't good enough and I'll take more tomorrow. At a pinch, I've done enough to start on the catalogue, but I've got more work tomorrow and also have a *potential but not likely* client in his 90s coming over to look at the china. On Friday, I'm off to Wales. I'd like to see friends on the way/way back and I've been horribly remiss in not getting in touch yet. Wink had her breathing test - this is not diagnostic, just to show how much difficulty she has, to inform the later heart test. I am pretty sure that I'm more concerned about her than about myself, though the procedures I'm due to have are rather more unpleasant. Shit happens, darlings. No point in worrying, unless it's about someone you care about rather a lot.
It's rained for the last couple of nights and been nowhere near so hot. I just heard thunder. I'm a little bit sad that summer is probably over, even if it has been a bit much.
Zerlina was 18 yesterday and her brother is 15 tomorrow. Their parents have been married 21 years today. On the 24th, Al and Dilly will have been married 22 years. Well played, all of you. Love and congratulations. Zerlina passed her driving test a couple of weeks ago, which is also fab. Worth being old for. I'll press on and be fairly cheerful.
4 comments:
It’s lovely when the grandchildren we used to ferry around suddenly can be the designated drivers
Where does time go? Congratulations to all.
And as for procedures... having your hip replaced while conscious (both of them, so twice, IIRC) is, in my opinion, much worse than all those you have to come. IMHO, not having had my hip replaced but having had two of the 3 others you are to have. But, hope they all go well and that you recover swiftly.
Enjoy Wales, and remember the good times.
- BW
Isn't it just? And lovely too when they volunteer to visit elderly granny.
It's the preparation for the colonoscopy that sounds most daunting and the unpleasant time after the tooth extraction too. When I had my hips done, I could have been sedated but I was too interested and, though the recovery wasn't fun, I was so thrilled to be rid of arthritis that I really didn't mind at all.
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