Sunday 21 October 2007

Z and a Blue-Arsed Fly have a little more in common that is, perhaps, desirable

As the radio, on its timer, went off at 8.15, I fell asleep. I woke with a headache, slept again, dreamed fitfully and busily and woke again, realising it must be 9 o'clock. I squinted at the clock. 9.30. Ah.

I hurried about the bathroom affairs, but did not take the ultimate time-save in the shower. By 10, I'd drunk tea, dried hair, applied makeup, fumbled in contact lenses and replied to two emails and a comment. I shot off to church, clutching the numbers of the hymns I'd not looked at in my hand.

I switched on the electricity, unlocked various doors (not that of the church, which is ever open) and went to check the hymns. I didn't know one. I played another, decided the key was too high and found it in another book of tunes and wrote down the number. I learned the new hymn and played the others.

The sidesman came in and went to get everything ready for Communion. "Where's the chalice?" she called. "It's not in the safe." I'd unlocked the safe and nothing was wrong with it. "I don't know, I haven't been here for the last two Sundays." "I put it away myself last week and it's not where I put it." I trudged down the aisle to check. I didn't panic. I reached in the safe. The chalice was there, in its baize bag. "Here it is, darling, the microphone was in front of it." The safe is about 1 foot cube. It would be hard to miss a mouse in there. She speculated on the dismay of losing a chalice for several minutes. I put the microphone out and the numbers up. I filled the urn and the kettles. I put out the mugs and the caf├ętieres. "I've put out twenty wafers, is that enough?" "A few more, I think". "The box is empty, we haven't any more." I trotted back to the cupboard and fetched one of the three boxes of wafers in plain view.

When the service started, I hit the notes of the first hymn. "Ah. Sorry. I'm playing the wrong tune." I found the right tune (83, not 81 as I'd written. Rightly, Troy, the child in the front pew, laughed.

After the service, I apologised for my carelessness, drank a mug of coffee and ate a chocolate cake. locked up and went home.

Later, I wrote up notes for the PCC meeting, cleared twigs and stuff off the lawn ready to mow it (sometime), picked a couple of boxes of apples and had lunch. Then I made a batch of quince jelly, prepared fruit for quince jam and cotignac, looked at the peelings, went to the shop for more quinces, cut up fruit to add to said peelings for more jelly, made the jam and cooked dinner. Oh, and ate it. And emptied the dishwasher, filled it, put it on, emptied it again and have half-filled it. The Sage and I agreed that we will need a new dishwasher soon and I suggested buying it before *the event in three months time that it's too early to mention* as the last one that went kaput did so on *the event in three months time that it's too early to mention* Day, in the evening, when it had just been filled.

I've just finished making the cotignac, which is cooling ready to be potted. In a few minutes, the quinces will go into the jelly-bag to drain, ready to make more jelly tomorrow afternoon (I'm working in the shop in the morning). It's after 10 pm and I haven't looked at the paper yet.

I don't have a proper job. What am I doing wrong? Day of rest, MY LEFT FOOT.


Anonymous said...

How exhausting! You did that all on tea power? Amazing.

Z said...

'Course, write down what you do on any day, give it a Benny Hill soundtrack and it will sound manic too!

Dave said...

You won't enjoy your dinner if you eat a whole chocolate cake in church.

Z said...

Welcome back, Dave - did you know your blog has been taken over?

I wondered who'd mention the cake - it was a very small cake. And I hadn't had breakfast (unless you count milkless tea as sustenance).

badgerdaddy said...

I remember Troy! Bizarrely, I think of him often - he said something hilarious to me when playing football once.

Usually when playing, if you can't remember someone's name you shout something to identify them - 'Blondie!' 'Baldy!' 'Lanky!'

He wanted me to pass to him, couldn't remember my name and shouted 'Yes, Big Man, here!'

There were far larger people than I on that pitch, I think... Even so, I couldn't run for laughing. Top man.

Z said...

They're a great family - all the children had learning difficulties but they all look out for each other. Troy was born 3 months premature and has cerebral palsy - he's a bit unconventional, but in a good way. Splendid names, too.

Malcolm Cinnamond said...

I'm tired just reading that lot. Don't think one chocolate cake is enough to sustain you.

If you ever fancy a 'holiday', I've got a few projects need sorting out on the farm.

Z said...

Hello, Malc and welcome. The Orkneys, hey? I've never been there. Pigs and chickens too, tempting. I like pigs and chickens. Good company.

The Boy said...

There is a great truth in the maxim that if you want something done, ask a busy person.

Doesn't make it any easier for the busy person mind, but things still get done.

I didn't go to Church yesterday, but the day felt very similar!

Z said...

I seem to have said I'll take the minutes at tomorrow's PCC meeting too. Staving off idleness is a full-time job. Pity there's no pay for it.

I'll earn my keep on Friday week though at our sale.

Anonymous said...

In case you don't already have a preferred brand in mind, can I heartily recommend Siemens dishwashers?

Although expensive, they all come with 5 year guarantees (some with 10) so work out less per year than cheaper models.

They are whisper quiet, wash brilliantly, and the baskets slide effortlessly and never stick or come off their runners (unlike most others we've ever had).

They are high-end Bosch machines - still made in Germany whereas Bosch are now made in Poland. Or were at the last count...

And there is definitely room to negotiate on price ;)

Z said...

My present machine is a Bosch, years old and has done very well. It does come off its runners now, which is a pain. I also want to check out the racks etc, for adaptability.

Thanks for the recommendation - I'll check out Siemens. I prefer to go for a more expensive machine that will last longer.

Bargain? Me? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Z-How did you know that the Benny Hill soundtrack is what goes through my head while having a housecleaning extravaganza (careful when dusting)?

Monozygote said...

I could never buy an appliance that was a homophone of a bodily fluid. I should get over that really - I've heard they're jolly good as well.

But what I was wondering, was about the person who lost the chalice, and the 3 boxes of wafers. wtf? I would have at least made an apologetic doh!-type remark if it were me.

Sometimes it's easy to be patient with people, I find, and sometimes not...

luckyzmom said...

I have often thought about eating a whole chocolate cake! You go girl!

Z said...

Martina, Benny has a lot to answer for.

Dandelion, well, wtf? went through my mind too. But the woman in question, whilst being sweet and well-meaning, is not very sharp and it would be unkind.

As far as the wafers are concerned, someone else had told her we were running low the week before. That person should have had the sense to check the cupboard. I'll tease her this evening.

LZM, moderation is for wusses!