It seems that I have surpassed all my previous records in digging the biggest hole I can and jumping straight into it.
I've said I'll do the sermon* for the Harvest Festival service later this month.
Yes, I'm not only mad, but also a fool. I have no idea how to set about writing, let alone delivering, a sermon. But I came up with the plan for the theme, which will tie in with the village schoolchildren being there, so it seemed appropriate to put my foot where my mouth is and follow through.
Also, it enabled me to ask Dave, lovely fellow churchwarden, to deal with the prayers. I am not up for leading prayers. I can't contemplate that.
I'll also be playing the clarinet to lead the hymns. It was either that or play the organ and it will be better to get up and just pick up a clarinet than come all the way back from the organ stool. And it's easier to play the clarinet than it is to play the organ.
Oh dear. I really don't want to do this badly. I don't mind being a fool, or that everyone will know that I am; that's par for the course, but I will let people down if I am embarrassing. And god too, but he will forgive me...c'est son metier as Catherine the Great** said. But will anyone else? And will I?
I haven't mentioned this to the Sage yet. I'm waiting to pick my moment***.
*It's not strictly a 'sermon' as I'm not licensed to preach, but effectively that's what it will be.
**it's been credited to various people, but the Oxford dictionary of quotations gives it to her - "Moi, je serai autocrate: c'est mon metier. Et le bon Dieu me pardonnera: c'est son metier."
***My well-read daughter just sent me this. Thank you El darling, that is extremely helpful. Though I'm sorry for the mental pictures that now are flashing before you.