Sunday, 28 February 2010

Z prefers marmalade to dates

Looking in my diary, I've not got a lot on this coming week.  Quite a lot of the sort of things that don't go in the diary - I've made a to-do list, which I only do when things are really piling up - but not much that's out of the house.  So I think that the time has come to make marmalade.  It's probably about the last week that Al will have the oranges, in any case.

I was talking to someone the other day who had met her husband over the internet.  I know several couples who have got together that way, either via blogging or dating websites (when I say "know", some of them I only know through blogging, but I do know two couples personally).  A friend of hers, whose life was shattered a couple of years ago when her husband walked out without warning, has been dipping her toe into the deep water of dating again - but, fifteen years on and with young children, she hasn't the confidence to go out looking.  So far, her dates have not been wildly successful and she asked Our Mutual Friend for advice.  OMF said that she and her husband didn't meet very soon - they corresponded for quite some time first, and felt that they had a rapport and that they would like to be friends, whether or not romance might follow.  The Ex-Wife admitted that she had gone by photos, whether she'd liked the man's smile and his eyes.

It occurs to me that I am very lucky to have hung on to the Sage for yet another reason.  It's not been long since I was last propositioned, in fact (no one you know, darlings) but I don't think I could face ever starting over again with another serious relationship.  In fact, if ever he throws me out and I start casting my beady eyes around, don't take me seriously, will you?  I'm afraid I would be quite unreliable.

14 comments:

Four Dinners said...

I did once 'get together' with someone as a result of jam rather than marmalade.

I'm not entirely sure this is an appropriate place to explain it though...;-)

Marion said...

I think marriage should have renewable terms. Say, every 5 years you would either sign up for another hitch or divide up and prosper on your own.

Dave said...

I'm still waiting for the internet to throw someone suitable my way.

Z said...

Conserving your energy, 4D?

Maybe every 7 years, Marion? It could really cast the damper on 'round number" celebrations. In either event, it means the Sage is still stuck with me for a few years, so I'll relax for now.

Bearing in mind the now-married couple who met on this very blog, I find this inexplicable, Dave.

No, hang on. "Suitable". I think "delightfully unsuitable" is a better description of my friends.

Christopher said...

Phew.

How do we know said...

You and Sage are joined at the hip. And Touch wood to that! It takes a lot of will power to stay in love :-) and u have it methinks.

Pat said...

OMF has the right idea IMO.
The thought of intimacy with another man has no appeal.- but friendship I relish.

badgerdaddy said...

A couple that met here got married???

Z said...

Well, yes, Christopher. Phew.

The first thirty years are the tricky ones, HDWK.

Friendship, absolutely, Pat. One reason I emphasise the Sage and my commitment to each other is to demonstrate non-availability! Saves awkwardness, most of the time. Getting old helps, too!

Yes, Badge - not sure if it's quite polite to identify them here but it's true, they met in my comment box. They sent me photos of their wedding - I sort of feel like a fairy godmother.

badgerdaddy said...

Well, that is pretty awesome. ONly time I have come close to such wizardry is when two couples met, married and had kids thanks to me flooding my kitchen. Well, they met thanks to the flooding; the rest came later.

They were a pair of brothers and two sisters, the dark ones made one couple, the fair ones another. Most odd.

zIggI said...

hmmmm, it's all so much effort isn't it? It would have been so much easier to have kept Husband no 1, or just killed him outright, but he was a good father and my children might not have understood. However Husband no 2 has turned out to be a man not unlike Husband no 1. Alike in being a man I mean, but unlike in every other respect. Ideally I would like a mixture of the two - that would actually be the perfect man.
.
.
.
I seem to be having one marriage in 2 halves, I hadn't realised until now!

Sarah said...

Phew indeed.....I'm with Marion on this...I've always thought that would be a good idea.....or should I just leave a note saying...'I'm going out...I may be some time'
Ziggi probably has the right idea though.

Z said...

That's impressive too, Badger. Two couples, light and dark haired - they weren't Abba by any chance, were they?

No, they weren't siblings. As you were.

Ziggi, I don't think I could have contemplated a second marriage and rather admire those who do. Hope is only too easily dampened by experience, and I'm more afraid of disappointment than unhappiness.

I do believe that it's worth trying though, and never to give up. I explain earnestly and at length to the Sage when I'm not happy and, being a kind man, he tries to help. He doesn't change, of course, but it encourages me all the same, until I get over it and revert to my usual self.

Z said...

It's the first thirty years, remember, Sarah. It does get simpler after that.

I didn't mean to cause melancholy, but now I'm going to worry about several of us for the rest of the evening.