Z gives TMI and is both bored by and worships the NHS

 It was an interesting few days.  The thing is, when I was found to be anaemic, I alerted the medics and I can't be anything but grateful for that.  Sincerely, I appreciate it and am, more than ever, in love with the NHS.  I can't believe that it works so well as often as it does.

Wink and I have both, for different reasons, had a lot of tests in the past few months.  Turns out that none of the things that either of us were tested for have been positive.  So it's good, for the most part.  Not to talk about my sister, I'll drone on about myself, because it's all about me, innit and I have few limits, nowadays.

First doctor thought I showed symptoms of bowel cancer or possibly blood cancer.  No.  Second doctor thought I might have an ovarian cyst.  Inconclusive because the ultrasound was (sorry) affected by air in my intestines so it didn't show one way or the other.  I've an appointment booked about that.  But I do have a couple of fibroids.  I have no idea if that matters.  Anything in millimetres sounds tiny to me.

First doctor had referred me for a gastroscopy/colonoscopy.  This was on Monday.  I had to stop the iron tablets a fortnight earlier (for my American friends, a fortnight is fourteen nights, ie two weeks) For three days beforehand, I had to have a low fibre diet.  Darlings, this was difficult.  Literally no vegetables or fruit.  Not even freshly ground pepper.  There was a whole list of permitted and forbidden food.  I lived on fish and chicken, eggs and cheese with white bread, white rice, white pasta.  No garlic, nothing.  Then I'll draw a veil over the final evening and next morning, except to say that I spent a total of four and a half hours in the lavatory, plus a few dashes.

I do not have bowel cancer, nor even polyps.  I watched the screen, it's all pink and squeaky clean (and as empty as can be, as of 4pm Monday).  I do not have stomach cancer.  By the way, it's very unlikely I have cancer in my (defunct) reproductive system.  What I do have, which I was already pretty sure of, is a hiatus hernia.  This has caused some inflammation, which they need to lessen so that I can have another gastroscopy to check if I've Barrett's oesophagus which, especially untreated, can be a precursor to oesophageal cancer.  So I'm to be prescribed pills to cut right down on stomach acid so they can see that.  There's a small (2mm is small, surely) ulcer, non-bleeding, right where the oesophagus meets the stomach.  No symptoms.  

To sum up, maybe this will save me from a nasty cancer.  Nothing explains the anaemia, which I still think was the result of a virus soon after a blood donation, which stopped red blood cells from re-forming.  If there is a cyst, it might need treatment (honestly, they can remove anything, I've no more use for it) and if there are dodgy cells just above my stomach, I might need treatment for that.  Quite likely, the anaemia was a very useful red herring.

The colonoscopy was ghastly. If I need another at any time, I'll say that I need a whole lot of painkillers upfront, because - though I think I'm pretty good with pain usually - I didn't cope as well as I'd have liked to.  Apparently, I have a narrow colon with tight corners.  Who knew?

Z's blog.  Where she overshares.  I'm telling you so that I don't have to tell anyone else in awful detail.  And, if you have been, thanks for listening (always remembering the wonderful John Ebden on Radio 4's sign off).