Mexico Way 1

 I've brought my laptop, which I don't usually do on holiday, but I'm expecting to wake up fairly early, so hoping to get some work done then, which won't take up the rest of the day and my thoughts - that is, I won't be worrying about all there is to do when I get home again.

Charlotte (aka MoB) had her centre of balance damaged some years ago.  She's not quite sure what happened to cause it, but it was trauma to the head in some way, not illness or a side effect of a drug.  Anyway, though she can walk, she is quite wobbly.  She'd booked assistance at the airports, but it was still useful for me to be there to help.  Unfortunately, I'm staying on longer than she is, so she'll have to make sure she isn't left alone on the way back.  She's resourceful and not hesitant about asking for help, but I do feel bad about it.

The journey was fine, right up until baggage reclaim, which took forever.  We were among the last 30 to get our bags back and then, unfortunately, we'd booked transport to the hotel with different companies, so I had to abandon her.  I haven't heard about it yet, we didn't catch up with each other later in the evening except by WhatsApp.

The good thing about travelling west is that you can have a lie-in and still be up early.  Now half past seven, I read in bed, had a leisurely shower, unpacked, made coffee (nice coffee machine) and I'll text MoB to see if she's up yet.  She must have been exhausted last night, everything is more tiring when you have a disability.

The room is very comfortable and spacious, with a balcony.  There's also a sofa with a coffee table and a small dining table with two chairs and a desk with another chair, which is a lot more sensible than many hotel rooms.  Of course, the bed is huge and very comfortable - it's true that the bed is really the point of a hotel room, but all hotels really go to town about that now.  Lovely quality bedlinen and I slept soundly - not too surprising, I'd actually been up for 24 hours at least, though I had an hour or two's sleep on the plane.

Ronan - not sure if I mentioned this - flew into the same airport a day earlier, for a business trip.  Sadly, he can't stay on - I asked if he could, it would have been lovely, if only for a couple of extra days, if he could have come on here.  But he's got the children this weekend and work on Monday, so it's really not feasible.

This may take a while...

 I have to submit an account recovery form and that wants a copy of a bank statement or utility bill, plus photo id.  I'm fairly sure they never asked for that when it was first set up, so I'm puzzled, but there we go.  Anyway, I don't have time at present.  I'm taking my laptop with me while I'm away, as I've got a lot of work to catch up on (this is dismal, I've never had to do that before) and I'll try to work it all out over the next fortnight.  I'm still getting emails about my account from the website host but, when I try to sign in, it says they have no record of that email address.  

Anyway, it's all been quite chaotic here, for one reason and another, every one of which is because I've been helping people.  Never a good deed goes unpunished, as they say.  I have, at any rate, managed to get my clothes sorted out and my papers together (not the work ones, but the travel documents) and it's suggested that I take US dollars for tips and so on, which I already had.  I'm not going to get any Mexican money, but will get cash out there if I need to - I don't expect I will.

Once I get back into my blog account, I'm seriously considering returning to this one.  I'll have to ask Ro if he can bring all the posts back here - he was able to migrate them from here to there, so it might be possible.  I'm paying for this and getting a poor service.  The host was bought out by another company and I don't think much of it.

I've realised that the hotel I'm going to is a rather dressier place than I'd expected, so I'm packing all my best clothes - not sure which I'm going to wear to the wedding. I have three outfits bought for weddings and I'm taking all of them.  

Next, I have to gaze dolefully at shoes and think, oh well.  They'll do.

Something isn't working and it isn't Z

 Yet again, my other blog isn't available and I don't know what's the matter.  I pay all the fees that are due automatically, I'll have to look into it.  I know some people still have this on their feed reader, but I've already had someone ask what's up with the Razorblade.

I'm rather busy this week - should be doing something completely different at the moment but it's been a distracting morning.  My sister's boiler went off again - it's just the pressure tap, but it shouldn't keep needing to be dealt with and the last time was less than a week ago.  Even then, the nuisance is not doing it, so much as having to get down the loft ladder and go up into the attic, where a previous idiot plumber thought it was a good idea to put the boiler.

Dilly was pregnant at the time so, when the plumber suggested putting the new boiler in the attic, to make more room on the kitchen walls, she protested.  Al and the (not so) Sage went along with the idea, however - I didn't know about this aspect for years and said to her, she should have insisted that I was consulted too, because I'd have said no - and, to make things worse, it was before the days when you had a separate remote control and so, if ever it didn't work or she needed to change the timing, she had to wait for Al because a pregnant woman who isn't great with a loft ladder that's constructed for a man's height can't manage.

When we needed a new boiler, I said I thought it should be down in the kitchen again but the now plumber assured me he'd cured all the faults that the previous plumber had created, so he persuaded me that it would be far simpler to leave it up in the attic.  After it was all done, he showed me how to do the pressure valve.  I was pretty horrified - I haven't had a boiler for decades, because I have the Aga - and asked how often it needed to be done.  He sort of sniggered.  Does one ever learn not to go against one's instincts?  If ever I leave here, I will not have a gas boiler.  

Anyway, I've asked the guy to come round and give the boiler its annual service a month early, because this shouldn't be happening so often.

Wink has been in India for the past 6 weeks and I'm going to Mexico next weekend.  Life is busy here, in the meantime.  

Z lunches out

 I may return to Blogger, my other blog is playing up.  I don't know whether it's my server or Wordpress or what, but I can't get into it tonight and I'm losing patience.

It's now six months since Tim died and his house in Reading is on the market.  It has to be sold, I am not moving there and it would be absurd to keep both of them.  It's a lovely house and would make a wonderful home for a new family, especially if they love to throw parties.  It's perfect for parties.

Today, my sister Wink and I took my younger son Ro out for lunch at his local pub, which was really excellent.  His small children were with us and the children's menu was a decent one, including the option of the Sunday roast that Ro and I had.  The children were adorable and behaved very well.  It's worth getting children used to being in restaurants, if possible, because they learn how to behave in company.  Young Perdita had fish fingers, mashed potato and peas and she pretty well ate the lot, and it was a generous portion.  She's only just two, but she has a very healthy appetite.

I'm lending Ro my car, because I've bought an electric one - I've kept Tim's lovely 14 year old BMW and it is expensive to run, so I've got one that's cheap to run, to balance it.  But Ro could do with a car and it's a decent one, so this makes sense.  We had a quick run with it this morning - it's the first time he's driven an automatic and he didn't quite know what to do with his left hand or foot.  It' won't take long for it to be second nature.  I've always alternated between automatic and a car with a clutch, it's fine ... mostly.  Next time I go to Reading, later this month, I'll go in the BMW and it's fine until, after a long time on the motorway, you come to a junction and, ahem, forget about the clutch.  I haven't actually stalled yet.

If you're used to an automatic, an electric car isn't that different.  A few things to learn, though, no doubt I'll report back.

Sometimes I think that Tim is just behind me, but I don't look back because he isn't.  It's all very dismal and lonely, but of course it is.  I cope as best I can, and my holiday in Atlanta, back in January, was wonderful and did me a lot of good.

Comfort comes in odd ways

 From 21st September

I drove back down to Reading this morning. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I'm having to share my time between Norfolk and here for now. I have a list of things to do over the next few days - notifying all the other companies etc and changing direct debits, getting the house valued, going through music to choose tracks for Tim's funeral and starting to sort things out. First will be his clothes, which will be put into bags, taken back and put into the Scope charity bin at the village hall. He's got a surprising amount of clothes in the wardrobes and drawers, but they're nearly all old because everything he wore most of the time is in Norfolk - where I've got to do the same job.

First, though, I had an appointment to see Tim, to say goodbye. He'd already gone, of course. I talked to him for ten minutes or so and stroked his face and his hand, then left. 

I'd had a bit of time at the house before that, which I used to look for documents, the one I needed being Viv's probate certificate. The solicitor had mentioned that Tim had told her that Viv's name had never been taken off the title deeds of the house - Viv was Tim's late wife. So I needed proof that he was the sole owner. I looked everywhere possible in the house, with no result, so went online to order a replacement. It's a mere £1.50 to access online and is a simple process. I had found Viv's funeral service leaflet so knew the date. But I ran out of time to finish the order and was going to do it later.

Having arrived back, feeling even worse than I had all day, it occurred to me that Tim's office, unused for a few years, was outside in the brick-built shed. It looks like a garage, but inside there are two rooms, the other being a toolshed, and he'd told me that he used to do all Viv's admin when she was an Ofsted inspector, some 20 years ago. Perhaps the papers were there.

It took me a while to find the keys, but I got in there and found a filing cabinet. Neatly labelled files at the top, box files in the lower drawers. It's all there. All his bank accounts and investments and all the papers I needed. Tim didn't really send me there, of course, but I think I'll choose to believe he did, because it's some comfort at a wretched time.

I've rather hit the buffers now, but nice people are coming to clean the house soon, so I'll just clear away anything in their way and then browse through music for a bit. Admin can wait until tomorrow. Lovely friends have invited me over tonight, so I won't be alone this evening. 

Lovely Tim

 People don't update bookmarks and notifications any more - I know that I don't.  I use a feed reader, so at least I know when blogs have been updated, even after several years.  But I touch base here once in a while, if there's something to say that you might feel you'd want to know.

I wish I didn't have this to say today, but I'll have to.  My Tim died a fortnight ago.  It was sudden and unexpected, though he was waiting for an evaluation to decide on treatment for a failing aortic valve.  There isn't much more to say, I've had to repeat the tale too many times already.  He died at his house in Reading, so I'm holding his funeral there and then bringing his ashes back here, where there will be a short service in our local church, where we were married.  

People are looking after me but it's hard to bear it.  There isn't any alternative, there's too much to do.  

Family getting together

 Blogger is becoming impossible.  I don't often write here but I've started a post twice and, after a couple of lines, everything I've written has vanished.  This will be my final attempt.

I've continued to blog on the newer site, of course, but i know some people only have this one marked.  So, a quick update, from the middle of lockdown 2.

Rose and family moved out during the summer from the annexe.  She had been my very welcome guest for nearly six years and her Boy lived there too, once he'd finished university.  A year or so ago, he moved his girlfriend in and then Rose moved her new partner in.  Everyone got on well but the whole thing wasn't really sustainable, especially once lockdown came along and, in the end, Boy and Girl moved to Ipswich and Rose and Man moved nearer to Norwich, but still on the edge of a village next to a field.

We were perturbed about the prospect of the annexe being empty - there was no question of renting it out. The council had allowed me to have a friend living there as a guest, but it's a family annexe, not a letting property and that's fine by us.  It adjoins our house and you have to be very confident of a relationship to have anyone else here.  I didn't have anyone else who I thought I'd welcome except for a short time.  But it suddenly struck me that my sister Wink wanted to move up here and, though she'd been thinking of buying a place - no one thought of taking away Rose's home! - she might like to move in.  So, in short, we asked and she said yes.

It's been several months' process, but she finally moved in this week.  And all is well.