I'm home but still borrowing computers as mine has only gone to be fixed today. So all I have for you right now are a couple of quotes.
Heard in Islington: smartly dressed mother to small child - 'Do you need to do a wee-wee?' Small child - 'Nyeah'. 'You must tell me when you do, Douglas, rather than holding your willy like that.'
Said by Sue, in the Plaza Major, Madrid, after a very large gin and tonic:- 'It's not as posh as the Place de Vosges, but the Place de Vosges is not paved.' Her diction was perfect, and this is, now, the approved test for drunkenness.