Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Well, what helpful angels you all are

I had a multitude of helpful suggestions. A few of them were a little tongue-in-cheek, I suspect, though some of those did not specify whose tongue in whose cheek. The first appeals to me, but is in the realms of fantasy, I'm afraid. I'm hastily bypassing 2, for obvious reasons. I like the thought of 6, but I remember how bruised my mother was and it's a little off-putting. 7 was taking the piss. I am strictly non-combative, so 8 is out, and I'd spend my time in 15 negotiating between the two sides. Several of them I already do, but maybe not with quite enough 'attitude'. I note that no one suggested I might reconsider on this illicit sex thing and look further afield. Probably wise.

More ideas would be appreciatively received, but I think my way forward has been shown. Thank you.

Here is the list, in no particular order.

1 Drive-by shootings

2 Gorge on rich sauces and delicious cheese

3 Hard drugs

4 Cycling

5 Rock'n'Roll

6 Archery

7 Bungee-jumping

8 Boxing

9 Grand theft auto

10 Quad-biking

11 Skate-boarding

12 Wake-boarding

13 Free-running

14 Tank-balling

15 Battle-re-enactment

16 Trampolining

17 Vicious flower arranging

18 Vicious cake decorating

19 Illicit sex with my husband

20 Blogging as a vice

21 Peeing with the door open

22 Drinking milk straight from the carton

23 Rock and roll

24 Let my hair down at gigs, but go straight home afterwards

25 Rock and roll

26 Become a fag hag, but not necessarily use the term

27 Enhance my minor vices

28 Take up woodwork

29 Illicit sex with my husband

And a late entry at number 30 - Pole dancing!

12 comments:

Dave said...

Is there a difference between no 19 and no 29 - or did you just like the idea so much you included it twice?

Z said...

You didn't notice that 5, 23 and 25 were also similar to each other? I included it twice because it was suggested twice. A trifle pedantic, perhaps, but that's the sort of woman I am.

I understand that there is, in any case, more than one way of undertaking illicit sex, even with one's husband.

MZ and Claire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Z said...

What happened there? Was that a vision or a waking dream?

Mommahbear. said...

LOL!! I think I'll print this list for my refridgerator!

Z said...

me too!

The Boy said...

Oh I'm late to the party, again...

I would certainly have reproposed 19 and 29 tho I suspect you two do very well in that regard.

Have you ever considered extreme gardening? LL is a keen participant, ripping up beds on a whim and randomly replanting. Its an equally enjoyable spectator sport.

Z said...

Darling Boy, the party doesn't really start until you arrive. Once, I was leaving a party after a jolly couple of hours when a particular friend arrived and we met in the garden. I turned straight round and went back in with him.

I've done a lot of extreme gardening this year and more is planned for the next few months. The veg garden has nearly doubled in size, I've cut down (with own fair hands) the laurel hedge and I've almost destroyed an old shrubbery. I'm going to build a wall and plant things on both sides. At the moment, I'm waiting for Friend with a JCB, as there's a job I can't do with a pruning saw and a manic gleam.

Wendz said...

How can one have illicit sex with a spouse?

Answers on a postcard please.

Z said...

Oh, my dear child, avert your gaze. In public, for a start, for it could well frighten the horses. There is at least one sexual practice that, I believe, is still illegal, even between a consenting woman and man. There are others that are distinctly unwise. And one can always involve a third party - that would come under the definition of illicit, because it would be simultaneous adultery by both husband and wife. I'm sure your imagination will think of others.

As you see I've given a degree of thought to this.

luckyzmom said...

I recommend you read the book "Eat, Pray, Love".

Z said...

I have it, actually, on Jen's recommendation but I haven't got around to reading much of it. I found her lack of comprehension of her husband's dismay when she decided to end their marriage quite odd and it put me off. I must have another go.