Friday, 24 August 2007

Z has a little rant - and, by the way, receives Disappointing News

I didn't find time to read the papers until I got into bed last night (the Sage was still splashing happily in the bath, I put the paper down as soon as he came to bed, for he is not a man to ignore) and the tone of this article on the third page irritated me somewhat.

Would you mind awfully going to the link and reading it before the rest of this, so that your mind is not sullied by my reaction but you have your own?

Thank you.

Did you notice how many time the word 'claims' or 'claimed' was used? Three times in successive paragraphs, which was then emphasised a few lines later by ' claims ... boasting or wishful thinking'. Even though the research methods are quoted as "well-accepted as being valid". If they are valid, why does the journalist make it so clear he does not believe them?

Mind you, Island Monkey has already made it quite clear, regarding an unrelated article, that he doesn't think much of this particular sub-editor.

Do you remember the book Love in the Time of Cholera (not any of you young'uns, it must have been written nearly twenty years ago)? Frankly, it was a bit rubbish, but it bowled a lot of people over at the time. It was considered to be daring, magical, wonderful - basically because it was written by a foreigner (a bit of positive prejudice on the part of the right-on sort) who wrote of love including sexual intercourse, by Jiminy, between quite old people.

Why are people so incredulous? If I were old I'd feel quite insulted.

Update - I looked up the editor responsible for the piece. I think, maybe, he is not one of the fortunate over-sixties still to have a sex life. Whether the item was written by him or by a younger person, it does not come over as written or edited by someone with first-hand experience of the matter.

And the disappointing news - Bella is not expecting puppies after all. We're all very sad. We'll have to wait a little longer for an addition to the family.

11 comments:

Dandelion said...

Yes. And I didn't like the use of the word "game" either. I shall write and tell them so.

Z said...

There were all sorts of things I disliked - the word 'prim' which was ironic in the circumstances (although not intentionally) and the description of the paper the survey was printed in as 'ultra-respectable', with the clear implication that the subject matter was not. Nasty prejudices were displayed at every turn.

hey bartender said...

If my mother met this man, she would never finish slapping him, pausing only long enough between said slaps to inform him that people in their sixties do in fact enjoy sex. This guy obviously has a stick up his ass. (Can I say that here? Or is it perhaps a bit much? If so, sorry. This just makes me mad.)
The whole tone was insulting and really unprofessional. I wonder how old the reporter is?

Jane said...

I'm guessing that this chap thinks that his parents have only had sex n+1 times in their entire life together.

Where n = the number of children his parents have.

idiot.

luckyzmom said...

I do feel quite insulted, but relate to the woman who said,"The cruellest act of God was to give women a sex drive long after they could ever conceive. My husband is eight (7yrs22dys) years younger but men who never had a real libido give up as soon as they can."

Z said...

Julie, I've said far worse than "stick up his ass". For a start, I'd have said "arse" which, while being the same word, sounds far ruder!

I Googled the gentleman in question and he has a career in journalism lasting over 35 years, so I guess it's just that his libido flagged early, poor chap.

Jane, was the extra time a practice run? ;-)

Z said...

Luckyz, yes, I felt for her too, although I also know men whose wives went off sex pretty well as soon as they had all the children they wanted.

The thing is, it's intimacy and affection as much as sex, isn't it - though I'm awfully keen on the sex too. But the tragedy for many old people who are widowed is that they are rarely touched. A hug or a cuddle is what they so often crave and don't receive, even in a completely non-sexual/romantic way.

The women all agree with me, but this is about men too - what do you blokes think?

luckyzmom said...

I think it is a rare and wonderful thing when two peoples libidos match. Intimacy and affection and sex can become tangled and complicated like the brambles you've recently been chopping at. I don't think it has anything to do with age. Awhile back, the doctor I was seeing seemed quite surprised that my husband (54) and I (61) were still having sex. I was stunned at his ignorance.

Dave said...

I read the article in the paper yesterday morning. Having been single for the last 4 years (oh, and still being a youngster of course) I have nothing to add to this debate.

Sad about the puppies though. Still, at least I won't be pining for one now.

Not that I'm in need of something warm and soft to cuddle, you understand.

Z said...

It must be difficult if a couple's libidos are really mismatched - the trouble being that simply affectionate hugs and cuddles may not be offered by the less passionate one because he or she doesn't want them to be taken as a precursor to sex.

Having said that, I don't think libido is set at a certain level and nothing can be done about it.

Dave, my hopes having been raised, I am now pining badly. There are particular reasons why the owners of the bitch feel far worse though, so I won't keep on about it.

In fact, my point was not about whether middle aged and old people have a sexual relationship or not, but about the sneering and incredulous tone of the article. Of course sex is not necessary for happiness, and I doubt if many in their 60s + would lie for a poll, let alone for a properly researched study.

Gert said...

I think it's typical of the thoughtless absence of empathy that masks too often as journalism.

When I was about 15, I reckoned that I would be having sex until I was about 30 (and thus needed to think about starting it soon to get the max out of those years...)

In my 20s I read lots of articles about how men over 50 are incapable of ever getting it up, and, anyway, it doesn't really matter, because they are so old and decrepit.

Perhaps there is a natural human thing that prevents us thinking of people a generation or more older having sex, because of that awkward connotation 'parents'.

I do feel concerned that the various surveys and strategies make such a distinction.

And as has been said, what is sex, anyway - is it just in-out,in-out shake it all about, or are there other elements?